Walt Mart
by shiggity-shiggity-shwa
Summary: Walt Mart refuses to let Relina Peacecraft in to do some volunteer work so she gets the gang together to do her dirty work. R&R please!!!


**Relina vs. Walt Mart******

** **

***Apartment of the g-boys, everyone is there (so 7 people)

Voice on the television: "On the news today, we are announcing the great presence of Princess Relina Peacecraft in the capital during this festive time.  Reporting live from downtown, John Black.  John."

John: "We're here in downtown just as the princess is arriving.  She decided to do some volunteer work at Walt Mart today.  I will be following this event for the people at home.  What is this?  It seem that they are not letting the princess and the media enter.  What?!?!  They hire a Santa Claus instead?  How scandalise, refusing her help in front of the public.  It would seem that it will be the Santa Claus that will have the job of handing out candy canes.  Back to you…" MUTE.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" coming from everyone (even Trowa)

Quatre holding his sides: "Poor Relina!!!  It's national humiliation!!!"

Duo, who was rolling on the floor: "This is one of the best days of my life!!!  LONG LIVE SANTA CLAUS!!!"

Heero immediately turns off his candy pink cell phone. (Guess where it came from)

Wufei: "Stupid woman! Hahahaha…"

Rei: "Well she has to realize sooner or later that not many people like her!!!"

And they all laughed harder.

DRING!!! DRING!!! DRING!!!

Duo: "Someone answer!!!  I can barely stand!!!"

Misha: "Hello?"

Caller: "WOUINNNNNNNNN!!!  SNIF!!! SNIF!!!  Igni Snif monztre Snif venzeance Snif…"

Misha: "Shhh!!!  It's Relina!!!  What!?!  You serious?  That's usually not your style.  Oh, not you?  Us?!?  WOW!!!  You sure?  Oh yeah?  Deal!!!  Ok!!!  This afternoon!!!  GREAT!!!!!  Bye!!!"

Heero: "What did she want?" Asking for everyone.

Misha: "Vengeance, and it's most likely going to be quite amusing.  Who wants in?"

Duo: "What?  We're not going to go protest at Walt Mart in the name of Relina are we?"

Misha: "No!  Everything will be done in the name of Santa Claus!!!"

Rei: "And what do we get?"

Misha: "2 months with no Relina.  She will go do some publicity for the communities in cities that are more grateful to rebuild her reputation, which will give us a good 2 months of vacation.  Or else…she's going to come here to cry and complain about how people are cruel and non pacifist, and blah blah blah.  And she'll especially want comfort from you Heero.  So, who's with me?"

***1 hour later, everyone is in the living room and is waiting for their orders from Misha.

Misha: "Ok.  Everyone understands what they have to do?"

Everyone: "Yes!"

Misha: "Great!  Let's go!"

***They all go to the Walt Mart that refused to let Relina Peacecraft enter.

Misha: "Don't forget, we only have 10 minutes to complete our tasks.  If you're not back on time, Wufei will leave without you so be back on time."

***And may the vengeance commence!!!  BWHAHAHAHA *cough, cough* HAHAHA!!!!!!!

Vengeance number 1: Duo

Duo was disguised as a Santa Claus and was running around in the store, looking for a security camera.  Finally finding one, he started making faces at it while smacking his butt.  After a few minutes of fun, he ran off to the clothing section and hid in the clothe racks.  Now he only needed a victim to come look at the clothes.  When a woman finally came, he started repeating: "Pick me!  Pick me!"  The woman, slightly frightened, would leave and look at another rack while Duo would cover his mouth so that he would not be heard.

Vengeance number 2: Trowa

Once Trowa entered the store, he immediately went in the electronics department, where he could find the radios and clocks.  Subtlety, yet quickly, he put the alarm on each one at 10 minute intervals.  Then, he found a radio station playing Polka music and put the volume at its maximum.  He then left the electronic section as quickly as he left, with a small smile on his lips.

Vengeance number 3: Quatre

Quatre was also disguised as Santa Claus.  He headed towards the cards and wrapping papers.  He pretended to look at the different patterns when he took one of the rolls of wrapping paper and challenged the man standing beside him to a duel.  When the man ignored him, Quatre gave him a good whack over the head.  The duel, however, ended up attracting a crowd, so when Quatre saw some employees approaching, he threw his roll to someone else and left to another section of the store: the pharmacy.  He took his red bag that was attached to his waist and started to fill it up with boxes of condoms.  When he had a good amount in his bag, he started walking around in the store and every time he would pass besides a shopping cart, he would add a box of condoms to that person purchases.  You know, being disguised as jolly old Saint-Nick and carrying a big red bag does have a tendency to attract little children so every time that one of the kids would ask for a surprise, he would give them a box of condoms so that they could blow some balloons.  One thing was certain; he was having lots of fun.

Vengeance number 4: Rei

When Rei entered the store, she went to a section where there were a lot of employees.  To be a good employee at Walt Mart is to offer help to the clients but Rei was not a normal client.  When someone would ask her if she needed help, she would start to cry and said: "Why won't you people leave me alone!"  The employee would try to console her but she would simply start to cry louder until he made an excuse and left.  Once gone, Rei would stop crying and act as if nothing had happened.  However, every time there would be an announcement, she would drop onto her knees holding her head, and cry out: "No!  The voices are back! NO!!! It's those voices again!!!"  Sure she looked a little…nuts but she was having fun.

Vengeance number 5: Heero

Heero's job revolved more around infiltration.  He would go up to one of the workers and in an official tone, he would tell them: "We have a Code 3 in house wares!"  The worker would look at him strangely but Heero would then glare at him and he would leave in a hurry.  He repeated the same thing to a few other employees then, he would dart around the isles and clothe racks while humming the theme to _Mission Impossible.  He darted around a bit and headed towards the hunting section and looked a few guns.  As he was looking at a 42 calibre, he asked one of the employers: "Excuse me!  But where can I find the antidepressants?"  The employer became quite frightened and left to go get his boss but when he returned, Heero was gone to cause more chaos._

Vengeance number 6: Misha

Misha was also disguised as Santa Claus but compared to the others; she went to the food section.  She took a carton of orange juice, and then headed towards the toilettes.  She opened the container and left a small trail on the floor.  Once she arrived at the washroom, she switched the men, women signs and as she left, put some M&Ms on the floor.

Vengeance number 7 (well, not really a vengeance): Wufei

Wufei was parked near the exit where he patiently waited for the others to arrive.  He had put on his watch with a timer to be sure that he didn't give them any extra time.  Since Wufei didn't believe in Santa Claus, it was against his honour to do something with that costume so; he was left in charge to drive the van.  One after one, they all came back and when the last person entered the van, they all left laughing like maniacs.

***

Voice on the television: "We are reporting that there was some ruckus at Walt Mart today.  Some Santa Clauses invaded the store and started creating chaos causing panic to many of the clients.  The police have caught no suspects, but people believe that it all happened because the store had refused to let the Princess Relina Peacecraft enter this morning…" MUTE

Relina was in her plane, somewhere far away: "Next time, they will think twice before messing with me.  WHERE IS MY PHYCHOTHERAPIST?????????????????" She yelled at one of the passing flight attendants.


End file.
